…and apparently dead. And still receiving Social Security checks.
That was the response a Detroit woman gave to police when asked why it was that she kept the mummified body of her deceased roommate around for as much as 18 months:
"It's not that I'm heartless. It's just that after so many bad things happen to you, I don't know," Chase told Michigan Live while wiping away tears. "I didn't want to be alone. He was the only guy who was ever nice to me."
There’s something seriously wrong with people in Detroit: not only will they keep a dead body for (allegedly) 18 months just for the money, but the local newspapers are also littered with spelling and grammatical errors. If you don’t believe me, just watch Hardcore Pawn for a week, and you’ll see: Detroit is full of crazy dumbasses, and bad public schools, it would seem.
But, that’s beside the point…
Linda Chase was living with the mummified remains of Charles Zigler, but you’ll be relieved to know that the arrangement wasn’t romantic (I know I wondered!), despite the two of them having been roommates for 10 years, although there seems to be some “controversy” about that exact point. (cheap joke time: A girl needs a stiffie every once in a while, no?). When Zigler died, Chase apparently saw no reason to alert anyone, nor found anything at all odd about keeping him cleaned and dressed while she cashed his checks, and watched NASCAR.
Chase is now worried that she might be looking at prison time.
"I'm probably going to prison," she said, adding she asked police if there was a way to pay back the cashed checks. I told them the truth. I didn't lie about that."
Really? Who would ever have thought it would be against the law to keep a dead body in your living room and continue to cash his checks? Oh right…Detroit, the Soweto of the Midwest, where most people’s IQ seems to drop the second they squat on the toilet. I forgot.
The strangest shit seems to happen in Detroit.
I’m adding Detroit to the List of Places I’d Like to Give Back to the Indians, If Only They Were Stupid Enough to Take It. Detroit has now replaced Vermont as the Number 1 place that should be given back to the Native Americans, in my opinion, proving beyond a shadow of a doubt that it has the creepiest, dumbest and most completely clueless population in the United States.
Anyway, back to the woman who lived with a stiff for a year and a half.
I can almost believe that Chase really is this stupid, crazy or lonely, and possibly all three at once. Then again, I can also believe that she has done what she has been accused of in order to keep Zigler’s Social Security money. After all, it’s not like this sort of thing hasn’t happened before.
But what really puzzles me about the whole sordid thing is the complete lack of regard for other people, not least of all Mr. Zigler. He had a family, you know, and presumably they would have liked to have known about his passing (unless, of course, it turns out that she actually did him in). I’m certain the authorities would have had a passing interest in Mr. Zigler’s demise, considering the Social Security “Trust Fund” (Two lies for the price of one) is dryer than an Egyptian Whore in a Sahara Sandstorm.
And speaking of King Tut, the article says that Zigler’s body had been “mummified”, but does not elaborate; did this occur naturally over the course of 18 months, or did Chase take special precautions to ensure that Zigler’s decaying body did not tip anyone off? The world wonders.
In any case, this is definitely one for the books...