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It is really all about gays being able to take advantages of all the benefits of married life without having to adhere to the conventional standards of marriage. After all, that’s what being gay is all about: flouting conventional standards.
I say this because it has been my experience, with the literally dozens of homosexuals that I personally know, that the vast majority of gays simply have a variety of axes to grind with society. They feel that they have been rejected by the greater community somewhere along the line, and in response, they reject the greater community's tenets, and if gays can annoy, pester, thumb their noses or poke you in the eye while they do it, the more they like it.
I’m not here to say whether gays should be allowed to marry or not. Frankly, I think the question is a pointless one for a very obvious reason; the purpose of marriage, strictly speaking, is to erect (oops, did I just say erect in a post about homosexuals?) a series of psychological, legal and religious barriers to wandering penises and vaginas. Ill explain, and try to do so without bringing all sorts of emotional gobbledegook into the equation.
A human child, it goes without saying, is perhaps the most helpless thing in all of Creation. It does not have fur to keep it warm. It has no fangs, no claws, no poison, no camouflage, no spiny sticky-things, no scales, no exoskeleton to protect it from harm. It cannot feed itself. Unlike most herd animals, it is relatively immobile for much of its early life, and so cannot run from danger. A human child is, strictly speaking, a writhing mass of shitting, puking protoplasm that is completely and utterly dependent upon its mother.
The Mother gives up much in order to have that child. She carries it and feeds it for the nine months prior to birth. She expends a lot of energy in the birth process itself, and then spends innumerable hours keeping her baby warm, clean, safe and fed, often at the expense of her own well-being. The child will remain in this dependent state for several years before it can take care of itself without much of a hassle, just before the child realizes that it can drive her absolutely insane by getting a tongue post and several inappropriate tattoos.
This requires a great effort, so much effort that it’s a full-time job and extremely taxing. Which is where the father comes in.
For the Father is supposed (according to conventional thinking) to do the majority of the providing, in the material sense, as well as lending the Mother a hand with the more mundane aspects of child rearing. Men, as a rule, have greater strength and endurance than Women, and this makes them perfectly suited to go out and earn a living, whether that entails hunting gazelles, tilling fields, or creating exciting new-and-cancer-free food additives in a laboratory somewhere.
Both parties require certain things from the other in this arrangement, not least of all commitment and fidelity. The Mother knows that she and her children will be properly provided for until she is able to take some more responsibility for herself, and the Father knows that the children he is working a 60-hour week to feed and nurture are, indeed, his own.
That is not to say that the only purpose of marriage is to beget children. I know a few couples who, try as they might, can’t get a baby started through no fault of their own. But, it is almost axiomatic that the purpose of marriage is to provide the necessary social framework under which the building of families may begin.
It’s part of a biological compact; The Father has a biological interest in seeing his genes passed on to future generations (it is, indeed, a male’s only biological function). The Mother receives the security necessary to get on with the job of changing diapers, nursing, putting band-aids on boo-bos and struggling through algebra with her little tyke without having to worry about food, shelter, safety and the extras.
Which is where wandering penises and vaginas come in.
This arrangement is threatened anytime there is the possibility of one mate skipping out on the other. A Man who has other children with other than his Good Lady Wife has divided loyalties and responsibilities which will gnaw at the fabric of his Happy Family. A Woman who wanders off the reservation, likewise, puts holes in the concept of familial solidarity. Once a couple becomes ensnared in such circumstances, blissful familial life becomes impossible, the structure of mutual support that holds the family together begins to buckle and collapse, and the children suffer for it. They always suffer. Quite a bit, too, and as a consequence, society as a whole suffers.
I don’t need to tell you what happens to children from broken homes: they’re more likely to commit crime later in life, abuse drugs and alcohol, or to repeat the dysfunctional behaviors of their parents, getting pregnant outside the bonds of matrimony themselves, with all the consequences this has for poverty, lack of education, and so on and so forth. We all know the drill on this one.
In a bid to prevent the worst aspects of these divided loyalties, and thus, broken homes, human societies have introduced a series of conventions which are intended to nurture the traditional family unit.
Marriage has been defined, defended and codified in legal systems. The married individuals have certain rights and responsibilities towards one another, which are written into law. These legal protections include the right to physical, emotional and moral support of one another and the children, and rules regarding when and under what circumstances one or both parties may be released from the marriage contract. There are laws which protect the rights of children within the confines of marriage, and which define the responsibilities of the parents to their offspring.
Violate this contract, and the full force of law is arrayed against you.
There are a bewildering array of laws with regards to marriage and the family, which extend to tax law, medical arrangements, probate and inheritance issues. The law defines who and who isn’t eligible to make decisions on behalf of someone who can’t, who inherits property, who is responsible for legal and financial arrangements a deceased person may have left unfulfilled.
Marriage has been defined, defended and codified in religious systems. Bringing the prospect of Divine Retaliation into the equation of marriage works…for some (not me, of course: I don’t believe God exists). Many people do, in fact, take it seriously, this otherwise dumb idea of an all-knowing, all-powerful, invisible man in the sky who wants only the best for us according to His Master Plan, which somehow includes airliners being used as weapons, four year olds getting brain cancer, and Ed Schultz being allowed on television.
There is a great deal made of fidelity in marriage in most religions, a great emphasis placed upon obeying the will of God to be fruitful and multiply, and to not covet they neighbors wife or ass, or his wife’s ass, or whatever. Failure to remain faithful to your spouse is an affront before God, who according to the Old Testament, can be a right bastard.
You risk the punishment of the Almighty for porking your secretary on the side, or for having a quickie with the pool boy when no one is watching. This is a powerful taboo for many people.
Marriage has been the backbone of civil society for countless generations of human beings. It has become something of the Natural State of Man, the building block of the Nuclear Family. It has been enshrined in Poetry, revered in Art, respected by the Common Culture. There is a tradition of marriage, and the sanctity thereof, which runs all the way back to the beginning of civilization. It has become a custom that has been ingrained in the human fabric, bordering, it would seem, on being a genetic compulsion.
I do not make the case that Homosexuals are incapable of doing their level best to uphold these standards. I only say that it has been my experience that most Homosexuals are probably unsuited for success in these endeavors.
Why? Because of wandering penises and vaginas!
Most of the gays I’ve known have been incredibly promiscuous, and unashamed of it.
You also wouldn’t believe how many Gay Men I know (it’s 9, actually) who were once married, and raised families, before deciding they liked rectum better than vagina. And every last one of them will tell you that their “straight” life was a personal nightmare that they couldn’t wait to get out of, just so they could Slam the Ham and be “themselves”.
This is not to say that Straight People are superior in the fidelity category, either (one only need watch the Maury Povich Show for a day to figure that out), but the foundations of a marriage – trust and fidelity – are less likely to be met when one's overriding aim in life is to fuck his way through the full MLB, NBA and NFL roster, with just a few extra boys on the side.
Next, you cannot fulfill the traditional principle behind marriage – procreation – when you’re starting out with incompatible organs and gametes. Yes, I know: technology has made it possible to create children in a laboratory, there’s surrogate mothers, and there’s always adoption, but it has been proven that the best way to actually raise (rather than beget) children is in a home with an actual Mother and a Father, and not an unreasonable facsimile, with Five-O'Clock-Shadow, and size 13 Kenneth Coles' in a peasant skirt.
Religiously-speaking, I don’t know of a single faith on Planet Earth that recognizes Gay Nuptiuals as a doctrinal matter, and only a few recognize it as a matter of political correctness run amok (and these are usually the faiths that have seen their attendance, and thus, their donations, decrease significantly in recent years). When an organization which pretends to be serving the Will of God suddenly veers away from that mission (after all, the Bible says that God likes straight couples), and makes a mockery of that which it once held as sacred, then there really is no fear of a Divine Retaliation, and therefore, no religious basis for the Marriage Contract. The whole thing, then, becomes null-and-void, because it’s obvious that people here are not exactly practicing what they otherwise would preach.
How is anyone supposed to take you seriously, as a faith, when you abandon your own, stated principles?
Which brings s to the last part of the Marriage Contract, which is the Legal System, and herein forms the real basis for the argument in favor of Gay Marriage.
Married couples receive certain benefits from the State; they can file joint tax returns (and get tax credits!), they can own property jointly, they can pass property from one to another without legal rigmarole, there is no disputing inheritance (in most cases) where there is no will. Your husband or wife can make medical decisions for you when you can’t. Spouses may visit one another freely in the hospital, barring some special circumstances. Spouses are prohibited from testifying against one another in criminal cases.
Some organizations and businesses may (say, housing developments) discriminate (legally) in favor of married couples. Certain insurance arrangements are only available or transferable to spouses.
And now you begin to see it: The real reason why many Gays (by no means all) wish to be married is because of all the wonderful benefits that come with marriage. A joint tax return, the ability to see your lover in the hospital despite “Family Only” rules, the dream condo in the gated community of your choice with the adopted children and shared medical benefits, the ability to dodge probate challenges from relatives who did not approve of your lifestyle.
It's all about economics, and health insurance.
The Pro-Gay marriage arguments have nothing to do with the traditional reasons and basis for marriage, as much as they do in making certain aspects of Gay people’s lives easier. And once enough Gays have been married, it will become part of the fabric of everyday life. No big deal, just like everyone else, which is also what these advocates are seeking: approval. Validation for themselves, and approval for the Gay Lifestyle from the rest of society.
Which is pretty funny, when you think about it: you, as a homosexual, spend much of your life pissing all over society’s most cherished traditions – marriage and heterosexuality – reveling in your ability to piss all them heteros off while you do it, and professing nothing but contempt for the sensibilities and feelings of millions, only to beg for their acceptance as it suits you.
I’m telling you, homosexuality is a mental disorder if ever there was one, because it just doesn’t make sense otherwise.
