Okay patients, listen up. Today I want to teach you the difference between a skunk and a 9-year-old girl. The skunk (rearus stinkamus) is a mammal that is known for excreting a liquid with a strong odor from its rear, hence the Latin name provided above. They are categorized into four groups: hog-nosed, hooded, striped, and spotted.
According to Encyclopedia Britannica, skunks range in color from the typical black with a white stripe to brown to cream-colored. Skunks vary in size depending on the type, from 16 to 37 inches long and from 1 to 16 pounds.
The average American 9-year-old girl (spoilous bratimus) is also a mammal. They do not however walk on four legs and excrete a spray from the rear. At least most of them don't. The average 9-year-old ranges in height from 4 feet to 5 feet tall, although it has been documented that some are taller. The average 9-year-old weighs from 60 to as much as 90 pounds in some instances.
There's no way to mistake the two, which bring us to our story.
A 9-year-old in New Sewickley, Pennsylvania went to a Halloween party Saturday night wearing a black costume with white tassels and a black hat. A man who is described as a male relative thought she was a skunk in the distance, and shot her several times, striking her in the shoulder, arm, neck and back. The girl was allegedly playing on a small hill nearby when she was shot. It isn't clear whether the girl was returning from the party, whether or not other kids were around, or where the party was. It is determined that the male relative had not drinking at the time of the incident.
The girl was taken to the hospital where doctors operated on her. At the time of this article, she was in critical condition. There was no arrest, but the case has been handed to the district attorney for further consideration.
My thing is this: how do you mistake a girl for skunk? If you can see black and white at night at a distance, how can you not tell the difference between the two? He may not have been drinking, but in rural Pennsylvania, I wouldn't be surprised if meth or pills were involved.
