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Showing posts with label Matthew. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Matthew. Show all posts

Of Pit Bulls and Pinheads...

There was a tragic event on Staten Island this past weekend, in which police found themselves obligated to shoot someones 'pet' pit bull terrier.

The story seems to be constantly evolving, as one side accuses the other of gross misconduct, and the other accuses it's opposite of being uncaring, unfeeling little dictators with guns, so I figure the truth must lie somewhere in the middle.

So far as I can tell, the general outline of this sordid tale goes something like this:

Some complete ignoramus decided to take her three pit bulls out for a walk in a public park. At least one of the animals was unleashed. As is common when multiple dogs are in such close proximity, a fight broke out among at least two of the animals, and at least one of them turned on it's owner who tried to break the fight up.

FATHER ARRESTED: KEPT ONE CHILD IN DOG CAGE, LEFT ANOTHER OUTSIDE NAKED IN THE COLD

The picture on the left is a graphic example of what a mixture of  crystal meth, prescription drugs and alcohol can do to a human being. This man hardly looks alive, at all. If he were to be buried today, no one would need any embalming fluid, I reckon.

And certainly he must have been at least brain dead, because neighbors called the police when they found his three year old son, naked and shivering on the front porch, crying to be let back into the house.

When the cops arrived, they not only found the naked three year old outside, they also found a 16 month old girl locked in a dog cage, covered in feces.

A further search of the house found this miscreant, identified as William Lewallen of Tulsa, Oklahoma, in bed with another naked three year old, and passed out in a stupor of drugs and beer.


BECAUSE PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW: THE SEX LIVES OF CONJOINED TWINS

Because what man in his right mind wouldn't want to have sex with these two, right?

I had meant to write about this a few weeks ago, but with hurricanes and elections and all sorts of other tomfoolery to deal with, I didn't get around to it.

My apologies: for it is our mission here at the Insane Asylum to bring you all the weirdness humanity has to offer, and I have been remiss in my sacred trust.

Anyways, it seems that someone has actually written an article on the subject of the sexual urges and feelings of conjoined twins.


IF ONLY HE HAD LOST HIS HANDS, INSTEAD...

Irony is, indeed, a bitch.

Legless man sentenced to three years for choking his wife.


Oh man, I’ll just bet the other inmates are already lining up to butt fuck this guy the second he arrives.

According to the article, John Pierro has a history of slapping bitches around…or at least he did until he lost his legs. Then he just tried running them over with his hand-controlled SUV, threatening them with death, and throwing remote controls at them, often with devastating results.

AMERICA'S NEWEST TREND: ALCOHOLIC ENEMAS

Experts: Alcohol Enemas are Extremely Dangerous.

Thank God we have 'experts' to constantly remind us not to do that which seems obviously stupid. I'll bet the guy who came up with that self-evident little piece of handy advice was paid at least high six-figures.

It's a good thing we're sending our children off to college in record numbers, huh? This, Ladies and Gentlemen, is what some of you have saved for all of your lives. It is what you have sacrificed or deferred vacations, dental fillings, the occasional steak, knee-replacement surgery and new cars for. It is why you have indebted yourself for the rest of your natural life with second mortgages and school loans.

All so your kids can go off to college, get a Master's Degree in Holistic Basketweaving (in only 7 years, too!), and in the meantime, discover new, exciting -- and dangerous -- things to stick up their backsides, or to do with alcohol, and preferably do both simultaneously. This is what most of you are paying nearly $60,000 a year for in the vain hope that your child will emerge from the college experience just slightly smarter than when they went in.

MAN JUMPS INTO TIGER CAGE AT BRONX ZOO

You see that picture at left? You see them there fangs, attached to 400-pounds of predatory cat? That ain't no joke.

A few days ago, a New York City man, who, so far as I can  tell has merely been described as "emotionally-disturbed" decided it would be a great idea to leap 17 feet from a moving monorail at the Bronx Zoo, and take a header into the tiger exhibit.

Predictably, David Villalobos, aged 25, found the experience less than thrilling, for he was not only injured by his fall, he had salt rubbed into his wounds when one of the big cats decided to  take a few bites out his ass.

Villalobos was rescued when zookeepers, utilizing fire extinguishers (what? No guns? What kind of zoo doesn't have a gun around when you need one?) managed to drive the cat away, and then cage the entire pride of tigers so as to allow emergency personnel to save Mr. Meow Mix from himself. Various reports say that Villalobos has suffered a punctured lung, a shredded leg, and it isn't clear as to whether or not one of his feet has been chewed off or not.

KENTUCKY: MAN SUES DOCTOR FOR AMPUTATING HIS PENIS

I can think of no more frightening words for a man than these:

"You have cancer...in your penis..."

Let's face it: there isn't a man alive who would not, if given the choice, rather stare down 1,000 vicious Taliban fighters armed with nothing more than a wet noodle (oh no you didn't!) and a smile, than to hear that his beloved Johnson had become nothing but a deadly tumor hanging between his thighs.

Which brings us to the next question: if a doctor told you that in order to save your life he had to amputate  your Willy, do you think you could live with the result?

Apparently, the answer for one man was a resounding "Hell NO!". Because he's suing the doctor who probably saved his life by removing his Babymaker before it killed him.

NATURE ALWAYS WINS...UNTIL THE LAWSUIT...

Sixteen Year Old Loses Head After Sticking It Out of Moving Bus.

Let this be a lesson to you: Nature has a way of weeding the truly stupid out, thus ensuring the survival of the remainder of the species. The problem we often face in our society is that far too often, some force external to Nature -- usually it's government, media or the courts -- intervene before the stupid can kill themselves, and so the rest of humanity must continue to suffer for it.

WOMAN SHOOTS AT 11-YEAR-OLD SEVEN TIMES...OVER CHICKENS

There's this here article in my local newspaper which cropped up the other day about a woman who opened fire on an 11-year-old girl who had carelessly left some sidewalk chalk close to her home.

Apparently, chickens don't like sidewalk chalk. I'm not certain if it really hurts them, or causes them some sort of emotional disturbance, but let's put that question aside for a moment.

I'm wondering why it is that someone this obviously insane is still walking the streets?


AFFIRMATIVE REACTION: THE REAL ARGUMENT OVER GAY MARRIAGE...

... is not about love, equality or Civil Rights.

It is really all about gays being able to take advantages of all the benefits of married life without having to adhere to the conventional standards of marriage. After all, that’s what being gay is all about: flouting conventional standards.


I say this because it has been my experience, with the literally dozens of homosexuals that I personally know, that the vast majority of gays simply have a variety of axes to grind with society. They feel that they have been rejected by the greater community somewhere along the line, and in response, they reject the greater community's tenets, and if gays can annoy, pester, thumb their noses or poke you in the eye while they do it, the more they like it.

I’m not here to say whether gays should be allowed to marry or not. Frankly, I think the question is a pointless one for a very obvious reason; the purpose of marriage, strictly speaking, is to erect (oops, did I just say erect in a post about homosexuals?) a series of psychological, legal and religious barriers to wandering penises and vaginas. Ill explain, and try to do so without bringing all sorts of emotional gobbledegook into the equation.

“HE WAS THE ONLY GUY WHO WAS EVER NICE TO ME…”


…and apparently dead. And still receiving Social Security checks.

That was the response a Detroit woman gave to police when asked why it was that she kept the mummified body of her deceased roommate around for as much as 18 months:

"It's not that I'm heartless. It's just that after so many bad things happen to you, I don't know," Chase told Michigan Live while wiping away tears. "I didn't want to be alone. He was the only guy who was ever nice to me."

There’s something seriously wrong with people in Detroit: not only will they keep a dead body for (allegedly) 18 months just for the money, but the local newspapers are also littered with spelling and grammatical errors. If you don’t believe me, just watch Hardcore Pawn for a week, and you’ll see: Detroit is full of crazy dumbasses, and bad public schools, it would seem.

ONE HIPPIE, WELL-DONE, PLEASE

You have to give Middle Eastern protesters, regardless of stripe, credit for one thing:

When they wish to express their displeasure in uncertain terms, they certainly manage to do so in a way that grabs your attention.

Moishe Silman, age 57, was protesting the lack of government housing assistance in Israel, when he decided it would be a really good idea to douse himself in a flammable liquid and do his best impression of a Baked Alaska (Author's Note: Check to see if Baked Alaska is kosher).

Fortunately for him (because it appears as if Mr. Silman had belated second thoughts about becoming a Roman...err...Israeli Candle) but perhaps not so much for the same Israeli government that will have to treat his injuries -- it figures: the asshole wants the Israeli Taxpayer to not only pay for his apartment, but now his third-degree burns. The nerve of some people! -- the nearby crowd quickly extinguished the flames before calling for medical help.

MAN SAVED THANKS TO COPS; BUT NOT PHONES

Reading my local paper this week, I've learned something that I had not known before. usually, this would be considered a good thing, but on this occasion, one wonders if the new lesson simply doesn't reinforce a previously-held, and demonstrably true, notion.

The notion is that, in general, Politicians in New York City are dumber than a sack of wet dog crap.

Case in point: a local man attempted suicide by jumping from the Verrazano-Narrows Bridge here on Staten Island (pictured).


Is a Yeast Infection REALLY An STD?

I must admit that I have never pondered this question before. Not even for as much as five seconds in the entire course of my life have I contemplated this question.Seriously, I do not recall an occasion where as much as the thought ever entered my head, but now that the subject has been broached -- I'll explain it all in a minute -- I find myself curiously drawn to trying to answer this age-old conundrum which has apparently vexed Mankind since the days when our earliest ancestors fell out of trees.

This would appear to be such an insignificant question, when it doesn't appear to be the most ridiculous question you've ever heard in all of your life.

WOMAN KILLED IN FREAK CLOTHING DROP BOX ACCIDENT

I could post about 500 funny anecdotes about this shameful and unfortunate incident, but I shan’t, if only because the person in question is one of those people we charitably call "eccentric". What she probably really was is N-U-T-S and she’s most likely dead because the Mental Health System in this country is a fucking disgrace. It’s a disgrace because it’s somehow more important to ensure that people who won’t use it get free birth control from the Catholic Church.

From The "They Deserve Each Other Files".


 Finally! Justice for a beaten stripper.

I'm so happy I could drop a log, because it happens all too infrequently, you know.

In what is being called an "Assault By Rolex", prosecutors in New York City are asking that a one-year sentence be given to a wealthy Long Island man who apparently roughed up his Russian concubine and left a wound requiring 16 stitches to close in her head.

It seems as if a wealthy Thomas Hartmann (below) just couldn't take Natasha Badanoff's shit any longer, and tossed her a beating on a city sidewalk.

It's interesting to note how Hartmann came into his millions; he won a court case in which he sued Long Island Cops who accidentally ran him over, severing his leg, while in the process of arresting him on charges that he beat the snot out of his wife.

AFFIRMATIVE REACTION: THE ANGRY BLACK MAN ROUTINE...

…and why it’s finally time to give it a rest, already.

Warning: Someone is liable to find this post offensive. Ask me if I care? There are truths that need to be spoken, and the disapproval of complete strangers will certainly not deter me from telling them. There’s going to be some sweeping generalizations made here – deal with it – like I’ve had to deal with all the racial invective hurled my way this past weekend -- and spare me the hate e-mail.

One of the consequences of living in Michael Bloomdouche’s New New Yorkistan is that you will always come across all kinds of people. This was always true enough -- New York being a cosmopolitan place, a true melting pot of the sort that Davenport, Iowa or Charlotte, North Carolina tries to pretend they are but never could be, attempting to acquire by association with the whole of America what they don’t have because of certain cultural conditions and traditions. Recently, because of the Mayor's dunder-headed concessions to the Occupy Wall Street Retards, it has become fashionable to be a ragingly obnoxious asshole.

One of the more mundane and stereotypical denizens of New York City is the Angry ______. New Yorkers are often accused of being horrible people; lacking in basic manners and courtesy, heartless demons wandering the streets of a Modern Day Gomorrah, but this is simply untrue; we just have better things to worry about than your sensibilities, Hillbilly, and the conditions and pace of life in these parts is such that we simply don’t suffer fools -- we have no time for them -- and you’re all fools to us; now as to whether this automatic assumption made reflexively by a Native New Yorker is actually true or not is up for argument, and that’s not one I’m going to take up at the moment.

Perhaps the most (in-)famous of the Angry New Yorkers are the special breed of African-Americans that several generations of deluded democratic (small ‘d’ intentional) party policies have kept like favored house pets and imbued with a sense of entitlement that would hardly be believed if one had not ever seen it with one’s own eyes. And ears; because if anything, this sense of extreme entitlement is usually long heard before its actually felt or otherwise discerned.

New York must have the loudest, angriest, most offensively-minded black folks in all of America, and that’s saying something. African-Americans in New York are known for letting you know exactly what they think (dare I call it thinking?) whining incessantly about everything under the sun, playing the race card faster than you can say Rosa Parks, and for making public nuisances of themselves when defending their supposed entitlement to be complete doofuses, all at someone else’s expense. They believe their owed something, usually for nothing. Constantly. Asking for different nets you a Je$$e Jackson Picket Line, an Al Sharpton Editorial dripping with barely-concealed racism, and a Charles Barron playing his old game of threatening to lead a riot every four minutes if he’s not – personally -- mollified.

New Yorkers typically ignore this sort of thing the same way they ignore everything else. If you gave any more than three seconds of thought to anything one is likely to hear from an Angry Black Man on the Streets of New York (and you will certainly get an earful, I must say) you’d go completely apeshit insane. It’s simply one of the costs of living here that one has to pay, and typically the ones with the biggest mouths are typically the dumbest pansies of all, hardly worth the effort of arguing with.

After all, if you argue with idiots they simply pull you down to their level and then overwhelm you with superior weaponry.

In recent weeks, however, the invective, the attitude, the anger displayed by your typical New York Angry Black Man has rocketed off the scales. It has become sheer hyperbolic invective that goes beyond quaint, old-fashioned notions of the Good Old Days when all we had to hear about was the ‘Inequality in the System’ (yawn!), and the presence of unreformed racism in everything from employment to housing to who gets the free, taxpayer-paid-for flu shots first (heard this song before…). Nowadays the invective is simply vicious; its intent is not so much to express displeasure but to be intentionally menacing. There are now, apparently, Angry Black Men roaming the streets of New York with no direction in life except where irrational, pathological anger manages to take them by sheer chance.

The first example of this new phenomenon was personally witnessed (twice) by me last Friday on the 1 train heading towards South Ferry. An overly-aggressive panhandler entered the car I was sitting in from another car, and announced without much in the way of shame that he had just been released from prison -- where he had done 15 years for rape and attempted murder – and had no job, and he wanted money…right fucking now. He used to ‘play ball’, he tells you, and he’s extremely pissed off and hungry, making an effort to stoop threateningly in front of every seated white woman. Just in case you didn’t get it the first time, he was also happy to supply this little nugget of barely-concealed, double-edged racism:

“There’s nothing more dangerous than a hungry black man…and I don’t give a fuck…”

Naturally, this being New York, no one gave a shit; everyone is suffering tough times, and you’re a piece of shit just released from the can. You want Christian Charity, Asshole, go see the Salvation Army and stop with the threats, already. We’ve lived through 9/11 and about fifty attempted attacks since then, and we don’t scare so easy, anymore. Needless to say, Mr. Threatening Ex-con walked off the train at the next stop, empty handed.

Not two minutes later another Angry Black Man -- another panhandler who doesn't seem to have missed too many meals -- steps into my car and begins making some of the same noises: he’s hungry, homeless, has no job, and suffers from severe mental problems, so fork over some money. When none was forthcoming a vicious stream of racial epithets was hurled at everyone in the car. Naturally, this being New York, no one gave a shit. Unlike the previous panhandler, however, this one actually took a swing at someone – an older gentleman, naturally – and then fled the train as it entered the next station, screaming over his shoulder that America is still a hotbed of racist slavery, and fuck us all.

Now that’s just the garden-variety stupidity that one sees in the streets all the time. In the Good Old Days, when we had actual Mayors and not rich douchebags buying votes so that they can treat the city like their personal kingdom, people like that got locked up. Correct that: first they got beaten within an inch of their useless lives and THEN they got locked up. But we don’t do that in Bloomberg’s New York anymore, witness the Angry Black Fella associated with the Occupy Wall Street stupidity that got front-page attention for threatening to start a campaign of Molotov Cocktail Bombings. So far as I know, he’s still walking the street, despite it being a crime to make a terrorist threat.

It got especially annoying Saturday evening, when my girlfriend and I went out to dinner.
We had called a local car service to pick us up, and when the driver arrived he had another passenger in the front seat. This passenger, a youngish black male, was making a horrific racket about being late for his appointment because the car service had double booked the car. Fair enough, that would piss me off, too. However, he crossed the line of decent behavior when he strung together a long line of F-bombs that got my good lady all bent out of shape. She asked if he would stop using that sort of language (which doesn’t bother me, because mine is far worse).
Apparently this was too much to ask, that a gentleman should refrain from cursing in the presence of a lady, and he began an angry diatribe about “who the fuck do you think you are”, which ended with “If you don’t like it, go somewhere else, Bitch, this is New York Motherfucker…” This got me super-angry.

After telling this young dickhead that if he didn’t observe a reasonable level of acceptable behavior I would be more than happy to rearrange both his facial features and dental work for him, I was subjected to a recitation of his resume, and how he was a respectable media figure in this city, who had to go to a very important function, and double-booking the car was going to make him late, interspersed with f-bombs galore You read that right: He gave me his resume, and this was supposed to prove…just what, I don’t know.

Somehow he’s trying to convince me that he’s in some way justified in making a total, blithering idiot of himself, and picking a fight with a chick…a chick with Muscular Dystrophy, no less ..and that I was being a racist for:

a. Insisting he observe some sort of standard that could be construed as “Acting White” (his words), he’ll act however the fuck he wants to, and there’s nothing I can do or say about it.

b. We had somehow, intentionally, ordered a car at the same time he did, specifically to screw up his timetable and get him fired, because God Forbid A Black Man Should Be Allowed to Have a Responsible Job That Pays Better Than Yours, Cracker (I refrained from saying what I wanted to: which was that I used to be a VP at Citigroup, and could have bought him ten or twelve times over in those days. That would only have evoked a diatribe about Slave Markets and The Middle Passage, I reckon, so I bit my tongue).

The Driver then makes this situation worse by dropping my girl and me off first, as we’re on the way to Angry Black Asshole’s appointment. This completely unhinges him. He’s now shouting that my girl should spend more time performing oral sex acts upon me, so that I woun’t be so uptight, and then offers to stand in for me. I politely invited him to exit the car and take care of this minor disagreement like gentlemen, but of course, he declined, the big pussy. The cab then drove off, with Asswipe hanging out the open window -- rapping at me (no kidding!) -- as he sped away.

Later that evening, the same driver picked us up from the restaurant, and told us that his self-professed VIP passenger was dropped off at the Park Hill Houses (a notorious housing project best known for crack and illegal gunplay), and refused to pay his fare, complaining that the double-booking made him late. Which is what all the fuss was in the first place: Angry Black Man was playing a game, setting the driver up with an elaborate excuse not to pay him for the ride. If I ever see that bastard again, he’s dead meat. Mark my words:

“There’s nothing more dangerous than a pissed-off Sicilian. People just disappear when we're angry…”

What strikes me as odd -- even enraging -- about these incidents is the brazenness of it all, and not only that, but the sheer hypocrisy and self-serving stupidity on display.

On the one hand, African-Americans decry the use of stereotypes to demean and belittle them, but resort to them often enough when it suits their purposes; in this case, the Angry Black Man is to be given his way before he resorts to violence or creates a condition which is intended to frighten others into giving them something he hasn't otherwise earned or paid for, whether this is money or a free cab ride, under the mistaken impression that the majority of White Devils will simply buckle under rather than fight. They might be excused this assumption, I guess, based on the fact that 40+ years of the American Welfare state has taught them that violence, or the mere threat of it, pays dividends. After all, what is the Welfare State if not outright bribery; we’ll give you stuff you don’t deserve and haven't earned, just so you won’t riot?

On the other hand, some African-Americans will routinely complain about the evils of racism and the legacy of Slavery, but have no issues with engaging in the basest racism of their own, and feel wholly justified in doing so. There should be no double standards regarding race and proper behavior when it’s a Black Dude on the receiving end, but not the other way around. I can’t use the word Nigger (not that I want to), even in it’s proper context, but I can be called Cracker, Devil, Pilgrim (that was a new one on me. Anyone know what exactly that meant?), and worse, and should just be expected to deal with it as my just rewards.

And as for Slavery: I’m Sicilian. My ancestral island is the most-conquered in the history of Earth, with the Greeks, Romans, Carthaginians, Byzantines, Vandals, Lombards, Vikings, Moors, Mamelukes, French, Spanish, Germans, and Italians having all – at least once – possessed and enslaved the population. If it were possible to trace my family tree back 4,000 years there’s probably more slaves there than in your background, so shut it already; I’m playing the World’s Smallest Violin for you, you Crybaby. My people came here 50 years after slavery was abolished, too.

I’ve seen this dialectic at work before; after 20+ years on Wall Street as a manager, my office became a smaller version of Grand Central Station, with a constant flow of Black employees routinely complaining about not getting promotions or bonuses based upon the flimsiest of pretexts. Whenever you shot holes in the self-generated theory of just why someone didn’t get something, it must always became a matter of...all together now -- the consequences of racism…you fucking cracker-ass motherfucker. Been there, heard it all before.

Point out that other black employees did get promotions and bonuses and it made no difference to sees-racism-everywhere type; the fortunate ones must have gottenthem because they ‘kissed your white, motherfucking ass’, according to the worst of the entitlement-minded complainers. Apparently the concepts of merit, professionalism, and a work ethic haven’t reached some parts of Black America. Black folks know how to make unfounded accusations of racism, call lawyers and file bullshit discrimination suits, but not how to get to work on time? But, I digress…

There’s always been an anger, and it’s usually been an irrational one, but nowadays this is beginning to boil over into aspects of New York Life that it didn’t previously, and it’s becoming ever-more vicious and gratuitous. Perhaps African-Americans believed that Barack Obama was going to reintroduce Reconstruction and prise the Reparations out of the Slave-owning Class only to be bitterly disappointed when it becomes clear that even in America with a (half-) black man in the Oval Office, you’re still expected to work for a living, and you’re still expected to observe some social conventions whether you like them or not.

I guess the acceptable response to being denied something they don’t deserve – whether this is money or respect -- amongst the new generation of Angry Black Men is to take to the streets inciting or threatening violence, but we’re way past the point where “Burn, Baby, Burn!” actually works anymore. And this is perhaps even more maddening to them, as a simple convention that has worked to shower the majority of African-Americans with everything from free health care to racial preferences in Law School Admissions for decades finally collapses under the weight of both reality and a bad economy.

And because a once irrationally-guilty White Population that felt that it was obligated to comply was all to happy to buy peace. But not anymore: everyone’s broke, so it’s now every man for himself.

It’s all quite sad. Not only that, but it makes you all less sympathetic to the cause when there is a real injustice to worry about. Do something more useful with your life, for Christ’s Sake!

In the meantime, I’m thinking it might be prudent to be buying me some Prison-Related Stocks (is there such a thing?) because it appears as if there’s going to be a steady supply of Black Men in New York engaged in letting loose with their deranged anger entering the local jails for some time to come. Maybe the jokers who use the fake-outrage-Crazy-Black-Man routine to panhandle a couple of bucks on the Subway, or to scam a cab driver out of $6, will learn a lesson when they’re on the receiving end of some unwanted romantic overtures from a 300-pound AIDS-infected cellmate named Bubba.

Which is a crying shame, because if some of you put the same effort and energy into doing something constructive as you do with scamming The System and crying about what you don't get instead of what you do have, there'd be a whole lot less of this bullshit to deal with.

THE ROAD TO HELL IS PAVED WITH STUPIDITY

A couple of months back, I had decided that my little patch of America was headed for the infernal regions in a bicycle basket, and that it behooved me to do something about it. I was especially appalled at the behavior of the youth in my neck of the woods, and had decided the thing to do was to volunteer my time and talents to ensuring that Staten Island’s youngins had something more productive to do with their spare time than spray paint bus shelters, engage in flash-mobbing local businesses, or drink beer in the woods, so I tried to volunteer with the local Boy’s and Girl’s Club of New York.

Amazingly, I was rejected as a suitable example for fragile teenaged minds. Perhaps I shouldn’t have used the f-word as a noun, verb, adjective, and often as punctuation, throughout my interview, but in retrospect I believe that what really put a bee in the bonnet of the social-worker lady who conducted that interview was my stated belief that what kids really need is more discipline and less mollycoddling. This goes against the grain of the touchy-feely-fake-self-esteem-detached-from-actual-achievement mantra of the modern Boy’s and Girl’s Club. I guess.

Be that as it may, I was determined to do something. Someone needed to, and it would be extremely hypocritical of me to write and profess that ‘something needs to be done’ and then do nothing of my own accord. So, I cast about looking for some other cause to support, some other arena in which I might make, as the cliché goes, a difference to at least one person in need.

Which led me to make perhaps the third-biggest mistake in my life (and no, I’m not going to tell you what the top two were, so there!).

In my zeal to ‘make a difference’ I forgot that when it comes to charity and community service, the absolute WORST place to try and make that difference is in conjunction with an organized religion.

You see, I was ‘turned on’, as they say, to a local church group (the church and religious denomination will not be identified here) which was in search of people who could teach basic computer literacy. This was right up my alley, having had over 25 years of experience in computer operations and systems programming. The Church in question had just received a donation of some 30-odd refurbished computers, and a state grant to run a computer literacy workshop for the barely-employable. The idea was to give some folks some basic computer skills so that they could go out and find a job (fat chance: I’m a professional and I can’t find one!). So, I got a call from Reverend Bonehead who had heard through a friend-of-friend that I was looking to do something ‘good for the community’.

I should have said ‘No’. I should have said “Thank you, Reverend, but I’m not comfortable working with a religious organization because I’m not a brainwashed doofus...", I should have referred Reverend Nincompoop to someone else, if I could have. But no…I had made the decision to do ‘something’, and something I would do.

To make a long story short, barely four weeks after this 'program' began it all came to an inglorious end. Mostly because the money set aside for it was spent or disappeared under nebulous circumstances, but primarily because Reverend Dipshit – who should have known better, one would think – had a much more…shall we say, optimistic… view of the better aspects of Human Nature than was perhaps evident. Or maybe the whole thing was just a scam to begin with?

You see, the first problem lay mostly within the human material that entered ‘the program’ itself. There was a cornucopia of very good reasons as to why many of those people had been deemed ‘unemployable’ in the first place, and why even a certificate in Microsoft Word wasn’t going to do much to change that fact. A few of our potential students had extensive criminal records. Most had never held a job for more than a few months, ever, in their lives. Somewhere around 75% could be considered functionally illiterate. The remainder would probably never learn a thing, even if you drilled a hole in their heads and poured the knowledge into it like concrete. Most are single mothers, many with a ton of unresolved psychological problems that would make Dr. Phil walk away in abject disgust and disbelief, vowing to take up a more noble and rewarding enterprise, like drywalling or sceptic tank cleaning.

But the absolute worst aspect of the entire experiment was the very one I had warned Reverend Dumbass about before we even started, but he was unwilling to listen to my concerns, and even hinted at an accusation of racism on my part for even suggesting it.

I had asked Reverend Dipshit just what sort of facility he had for securing all these donated laptops when they weren’t going to be used during classes. They would have to be locked up if they weren’t to be stolen, and in that particular neighborhood a church full of computers would make a lovely target, indeed. Reverend Asshole was convinced that the best thing to do was to allow the students to keep ‘their’ laptops when they weren’t in class, the better to practice the skills they would be learning in their spare time. I protested; give those computers to people with no way to bring either machine or warm body back to class on a regular basis, I said, and they’ll quickly disappear.

I was proven correct within a week.

Out of the original 35 laptops donated to the church, 12 of them ‘walked away’ with their owners after the first night’s class. That is to say, their new ‘owners’ had signed up for the program in the hopes of getting a ‘free’ computer, and they were proven right. Once the computer was in their possession they saw no need to return for another class, especially since no one was going to make them come back.

Which led to a second, and most-disturbing, problem; now that the word was out in the neighborhood that the church was giving away free computers’, numbers of people began figuratively beating the doors down looking for theirs, and when told there was no ‘free’ anything they often got extremely angry and downright nasty about it. Before the first week was up, somewhere in the neighborhood of 100 additional people came looking for ‘free’ computers that didn’t exist, and to hell with the idea of taking a course in anything. There's a feeling of entitlement in the neighborhood (where would anyone ever get that sort of idea, one wonders?), and there was even talk of doing violence to those who got the 'free' computers by those who did not get one.

Simply asking the 12 walkaways to return their computers because it would be the right thing to do was a fruitless exercise. The usual excuse for non-compliance was that between the time the computer was handed out and the ‘student’ failing to return for his/her next class, was that the computers had been ‘lost’ or ‘stolen by someone else’. The second most-common response, which is mostly unprintable, involved quite a few Oedipal Sexual references and an insistence that Reverend Dummy attempt to try something physiologically impossible.

Reverend Shithead's wife had managed to 'rescue' at least four computers -- from local pawn shops -- at great expense. We also found that a good proportion of those 12 miscreants had listed false addresses and phone numbers when they had signed up for the course. Calling the police was, Reverend Moron assured me, ‘counterproductive’, and I guess he meant that in terms of revenge; the church might be vandalized or burglarized in retaliation for reporting a bunch of thefts.

The third major problem occurred within the second week. A number of the remaining students are of West African origin, and the African-American students evidently have a long laundry list of beefs and prejudices against them. The primary indication of this friction is how many of the West African students had their computers or workbooks stolen or destroyed by their African-American counterparts out of sheer hostility, through attempts to bully and intimidate them, or, as one student put it to me, ‘just because they can...’. The hatred for the West Africans by the African- Americans in the class was palpable, and often vocal and borderline-physical. There was language used that would have gotten me arrested on a variety of terrorism, civil rights, and hate crimes charges, but which African-Americans seemingly have no problem applying against their African cousins.

I was beginning to think that even I, someone who has little fear of even the biggest punk-ass gangsta (because I can handle myself, and I own a better gun than you do, thank you), might have to arm myself before showing up to teach these classes. And by the way, the worst offenders were African-American women, much to my surprise and dismay. The majority of the hostility (no surprise whatsoever here) stems from simple jealousy; apparently, the West African women are considered highly desirable by the local menfolk, and their penchants for using perfect English, cleanliness, and for comporting themselves with class and dignity, make the African-American women feel wholly inadequate.

By the end of the second week of classes, my 11 West African students were sharing 6 laptops and workbooks between them, and travelling in groups in order to protect themselves on their way to and from the church from would-be terrorists-in-hair-extensions.

Another problem was that the few Hispanic students in the class are, for the most part, totally illiterate. English is not just a second language for them, it might as well be a fifth one, and some are even ignorant of standard Spanish, having come from mixed backgrounds where dialect is more likely to be spoken. My command of the Spanish language is limited: I can understand approximately 80% of what I read or hear, but I have trouble speaking the language with any fluency whatsoever. There were eight Hispanics in this class, all but one female, and the church made no provision for either a translator, or for instruction books written in Spanish. Give them credit for hanging in there and trying, but they’re fighting an uphill battle.

And that was before the money, mysteriously, dried up...and surprisingly quickly.

Coincidentally, this sudden lack of funding reared its ugly head at about the same time as the church expanded its food pantry and got itself a pair of new mini-buses. Reverend Dumpkopf insists the events are unconnected; it’s simply a matter of ‘the government’ cutting back on ‘this particular program’ and the added expense of keeping the church meeting rooms open after 8 p.m., he assures me, and had absolutely nothing to do with any diversion of funds from one church operation to another.

Eventually, the remaining students, mostly through sheer frustration, began to leave the class. By week three, we were down to 9 laptops and 14 students, and we only had those computers left because their ‘owners’ at least had enough respect for the institution of the church that they wouldn’t go so low as to steal from it. The money to keep ‘the program’ going was no more; not a single student completed the basic course, and my services as a volunteer were no longer required…unless I wanted to feed the homeless, which is sort of like feeding the pigeons in the local park; you’re giving sustenance to a persistent and filthy nuisance which serves no obvious function, and who will eventually only shit all over you.

Christian charity, in my mind, only goes so far, and is wasted upon those who won’t even help themselves. The whole thing has been a tremendous waste of time and effort, and it could have been mostly prevented. Any program which brings about a connection between The Poor, the Church, and Government, is bound to fail for obvious reasons, despite the motivations and efforts of those who choose to do the right thing, mostly because:

a. People, in general, suck, and ‘poor’ people (who often get paid and fed to simply to breathe and breed, and of whom nothing is ever expected) suck even harder.

b. The basest aspects of Human Nature are often impervious to the dictates of enlightened self-interest. People whose only concern is ‘right now’ and ‘what’s in it for me?’ are not exactly the best investments of (other people's) time or (other people’s) money.

The Road to Hell, they say, is paved with good intentions. It’s become clear to me in a way that perhaps wasn’t so previously that it’s also lit by the streetlights of stupidity. A program which was intended to provide basic job skills to a segment of the population which may not have the opportunities provided by even the cheapest community college was destroyed from within by a combination of theft, prejudice, wishful thinking, possibly creative accounting, collusion between politics and religion, and sheer human stupidity.

What little faith I still had in human beings in their ability to do the right thing has been shattered by the experience, and quite frankly, it seems no great loss to me as my expectations were, from the very beginning, exceedingly low. But, at least I made the effort, right?

Somehow, that question now rings hollow, given the cataclysmic failure. I don’t take such failure lightly as a matter of personal pride, but I’m beginning to wonder if it’s worth making another effort, altogether. If I do decide to try again, I can promise you this: there won’t be a church, poor people, government funding, or an unreasonable belief divorced from actual evidence in the ‘innate goodness’ of people involved ever again.

The only things I’ve learned through this experience is that there’s a specific reason why people wallow in poverty and ignorance; it’s because they obviously want to be that way, and because they’re aided and abetted in staying so by a ton of self-delusional little enablers who somehow get paid good money to profess a belief in ‘the Poor’s’ mostly non-existent virtues.

INSANITY, THY NAME IS NYC SANITATION DEPARTMENT...


I have committed what is considered a serious crime in New York City, these days. I didn't rob anyone, I didn't kill anyone, nor did I expose myself to unwitting passer's-by (although maybe I should, since all the streakers with that Occupy Wall Street bullshit seem to be having so much fun). No, all I did was...throw out some trash.


You see, the Lunatic is in the process of moving. In Barack Obama's alternating 'recovering' or 'it would have been far worse without my brand of Communism' economy (which lie you get depends on what day of the week it is), is such that I must pull up tent stakes and head for greener pastures. And when I say 'greener' I mean 'smaller', 'less-expensive' and 'this is all I can afford, since I don't have a full-time job, no prospects of getting one anytime soon, and I'm running out of money'.


There was a time, not too long ago, when I could have had any job I pleased, and pretty much named my own price for it, too, but that's a tale for another day. Right now, we're talking garbage, and not necessarily the garbage that currently resides in Washington, D.C.. But, I digress...


Anyways, one of the consequences of having to move is that I now have an extra bed; a full-size bed which was always available for guests. It’s rather old, but comfortable, and has given long service in the Lunatic’s household. However, it is now excess-to-needs and would be taking up valuable space in my new, much smaller, homestead-cum-hamster-cage. I've got no place to put it.

You can’t sell a second-hand bed in New York City. This is all well-and-good, because second-hand mattresses are nasty, and let’s not get started on the whole issue of bedbugs and other people's bodily fluids (or sometimes solids). So, since I can’t take it with me, and I can’t sell the thing, and its seen better days, anyway, I might as well just toss it out, right? You can still do that, can’t you?

Of course you can. But not until you jump through the Sanitation Department’s hoops, and spend some dough.

I made the cardinal mistake of believing that you could just throw a bed away and have it picked up. I've lived in this city for 43 of my 44 years, born and raised here, and no one ever said you couldn't just chuck an old bed out. People do it all the time. I have been operating under this impression pretty much my entire life, and have seen literally hundreds of old beds similarly discarded and awaiting pickup during that entire span of years, no questions asked, no problems apparent.

Except that this is Mayor Michael Bloomberg’s New Yorkistan, and things are always different, and the easy must be made impossible. Common sense no longer reigns, The Old Way of Doing Things must be revamped, primarily for the sake of making certain you can snag and fine (mostly fine, it's how New York City pays for condos for the homeless, and free education for illegal aliens, and clean syringes for heroin addicts, etc.) some poor, dumb bastard for making the mistake of doing something that hardly anyone knows is illegal, and which seems natural.

See, I tossed that old bed out on the curb two days ago. The garbage men arrived early this morning...and left it right where it was. Sometime after they left, but before I got up, a Sanitation Inspector had come by and thoughtfully left a $100 citation taped to my front door. I couldn’t tell why a) no one picked up the bed, and b) what the fuck was written on the citation, because whoever wrote it is a functional illiterate with poor penmanship skills. So, I called the Sanitation Department, and made a few enquiries.

It turns out that I had committed a crime in incorrectly disposing of an old bed: according to New York City Sanitation code, you cannot leave a bed out for pickup without first wrapping it in a mattress cover. And not just any old mattress cover, either, but one that is of a type specifically designated by the Sanitation Department. This means either a particular grade of plastic or heavy, rubber-backed canvas, as any sort of regular-type cloth cover is bad juju. You can’t wrap it in heavy sheet plastic, or contrive to cover the thing in a collection of Hefty Bags and Duct Tape, either.

What this means is that I had to go out and buy 2 mattress covers (one for the box spring, and one for the mattress) just so they can be thrown away.

I've just spent $20 for the privilege of having my trash handled by....people who’s job it is to handle the trash. Even worse, it has been raining for the better part of two days, and this meant struggling with a heavy, wet mattress, covered in fallen leaves and street dirt, trying to jam it into a mattress cover, and getting heavy packing tape to stick to wet fabric. And if this tale of woe has filled you with a sense of sympathy for my plight, don't reach for the Kleenex quite yet, because the next little factoid should make you cringe with horror.

Now that the Sanitation Gestapo is aware of the fact that I have been fined for attempting to throw away an uncovered mattress, they will continue to come by several times to ensure that I make every effort to comply with this rather ridiculous regulation. Each visit in which the mattress remains uncovered will result in a new $100 citation. Not only that, if I did put the thing in the approved cover, it will then be inspected for all the petty little details they told me about on the phone: the covers have to be taped or tied down, you can't block a parking space with the old bed, and they have to be propped up into a standing position because God forbid a Sanitman has to bend down. That's eight months on disability and a Workman's Comp case, you see. They will inspect the mattress cover to ensure that it meets regs, and then -- if I pass inspection -- they'll let the next, scheduled crew know to be on the lookout for a mattress which will require that both men get their fat, unionized behinds out of the truck in order to pick the thing up and manhandle it.


One can only assume they'll not come again before Sunday (the next scheduled pick up), in which case, my now-soaking-wet-but-covered-and-taped-according-to-regs old bed will start to mold over and smell like a wet Taliban fighter with a yeast infection. With any luck, it’ll keep the Jehovah’s Witnesses from ringing my doorbell until after I leave.

The Sanitation Department says that they require what amounts to an airtight mattress condom in order to protect the health and safety of its workers. Umm….they DO realize these guys pick up messy, dripping, smelly, disgusting garbage, sometimes with insects and maggots in it, and they do it all day, don’t they? That doesn’t sound like the healthiest occupation to me to begin with, and it makes me wonder why anyone would choose to do it. Oh, right: for the $60,000 a year a New York City Sanitation man makes (and this provided he can pass a 3rd-grade reading test and provide a clean urine sample, and manage not to get fired within 5 years. Just how stupid would you have to be in order to fuck up garbage collection?).

And that comes with iron-clad benefits that stop just short of lifetime Secret Service protection after you’ve done your time, too.

I swear, New York City has the most mollycoddled, crybaby, overpaid, and underworked municipal workers on Earth. I should have known this was going to be like pulling teeth because of my last encounter with the New York City Sanitation Department, when I committed the executable offense of throwing a Cheerios box in the trash back in 2003.

It’s a toss up as to which is worse: the Obama Administration, or the Reign of Terror of Nitpicking Stupidity that has been the hallmark of Emperor Michael Bloomberg the First’s Tyranny of Nonsense.

AFFIRMATIVE REACTION: DEMOCRATIC PARTY - THE NEW PLANTATION?

A few days ago, my good friend Mr. Chap scribed this piece of conventional wisdom in which he suggests that African-American loyalty to the democratic (small 'd' intentional) party is based upon that party's perceived commitment to the cause of Civil Rights.

Before I take Chap apart at the rhetorical joints (just kidding!) it is necessary to put this relatively simplistic explanation into it's proper, historical context, one that goes beyond the assertion of an affinity based upon single-issue advocacy.

I don't see a correlation between Civil Rights and overwhelming democratic support so much as I see a perverse kind of Stockholm Syndrome.


It is necessary to point out these three, irrefutable, historical facts regarding the Modern Democratic Party:


1. The Modern Democratic Party is the Bastard Child of Segregation; it is an ancient pig given a new shade of lipstick.

2. The Modern Democratic Party has been invaded and infected by Socialists, Communists, and Anarchists of all kinds who have turned the brand name and party apparatus to their own ends. They call themselves ‘Progressive’, but their ultimate goal is, indeed, anything but. They are not (and have never been) what they have claimed to be, and the proof of this has been in the results of decades of failed policies and programs.

3. The Modern Democratic Party is not concerned with issues of equality or fairness, or in building a better society: it is interested in reordering society in a manner which suits the tastes, opinions, and requirements of the Elite at its top. They are not Politicians as much as they are Managers. They deliberately engage in a a process of division, propaganda, the manipulation of voting blocs and emotions. Matters of race, sex, gender, and so forth, are only important insofar as they can be made to serve the overall cause: re-ordering the planet according the Libtard’s personal preferences and attitudes, making people live the way you want them to, and by establishing/protecting the Collectivist system which makes it all possible.

Now, in Mr. Chap’s piece, he makes reference to Barry Goldwater and his opposition to the 1965 Civil Rights Act, and associates conservative rejection of the Act with the Black Exodus to the Democratic Party. He’s only half-right, however, but doesn't explain why Goldwater conservatives rejected the Act; they believed that it threatened to establish a dual social system dripping with double standards within American Society that would be antithetical to Constitutional Rule and Civil Society…and they were right. Affirmative Action, The War on Poverty, The Great Society, The Welfare State, and the destruction of the African-American nuclear family, all can be argued to have sprung from The Civil Rights Act of 1965. What Goldwater wanted, but couldn't’ get added to that law was, basically, the addition of a simple sentence (paraphrased), and even this is a gross simplification:

“…And this applies to everyone, equally….”

Barring that concession the Law wouldn’t get any Conservative support, and thus was born the myth that Conservatives don’t give a shit about Civil Rights, and voted against the Act out of racism. In fact, more democrats – actual sheet-wearin’ Old Klan dems like Robert Byrd, and old-money Southern patricians like Al Gore, Sr. – voted against it than did Republicans!).

The greatest Lie of Civil Rights legislation, and the Social Welfare system it spawns, is that it's always promulgated as a matter of equality, or undertaken in order to address a grievous historical wrong. This is a trite response to a greater historical question which has never been adequately examined, because doing so would shatter some of the more cherished myths of American History.

The Great Question of the Civil War was not the institution of Slavery, per se. Slavery was most definitely on it's way out as a matter of simple Progress. The issue was what to do with 4.5 million people who would soon be made economically redundant by the Industrial Revolution. The Cotton Gins, Steam Engines, Railroads, Mechanical Planters and Reapers, were making the keeping of slaves an archaic and expensive proposition that could no longer be economically justified, moral issues aside.

What to do with all those people, mostly uneducated, bereft of property, with few skills beyond the farm, and possessed of legitimate axes to grind? The stated causes of the Civil War (an argument over the expansion of Slavery into the West, Abolition, or even some notion of a United Nation) are mostly superficial. The issue was the potential effect of releasing all those otherwise-under-control people without any safeguard against violent revolution or revenge. They couldn’t be exterminated (that ran counter to Christian ideals, but slavery didn’t? Go figure), and they couldn’t be deported or repatriated to Africa (the American experiment with Liberia proved both very expensive and problematic) and no one wanted to pay for the deportation, anyway.

Reconstruction after the Civil War only managed to re-establish much of the pre-War status quo under Yankee guns, ironically instituting the main war aims of the Southern Secessionists (the Separation of the Races by law and force, protection of Southern Whites), and then creating animosity that went beyond mere questions of occupation. What the Confederacy couldn’t accomplish by War, its Enemy achieved in the name of civil peace and reconciliation.

Reconstruction, therefore, actually begat Jim Crow and laid one of the foundation blocks for the future welfare state which would trap many African-Americans in a cycle of government-provided subsistence-poverty and dependence, and future electoral manipulation. The Confederacy may have lost the War, but won the most important Battle.


Dixiecrats of the 19th and 20th centuries were more than happy to keep Jim Crow alive, then, but over time found themselves obligated to occasionally sweeten the pot in order to maintain this artificially-maintained peace. These overtures were either mostly symbolic (a slew of Civil Rights legislation which has probably done more to discourage equality), economic symbolism (a growing array of benefits-with-strings-attached programs, set-asides, and quota systems marinated in graft), or strictly-political skullduggery (engaging in class or racial warfare whenever necessary).

The process was intensified by the 1960 Presidential election, when John F. Kennedy barely squeaked out a win over Richard Nixon with as few as 20,000 popular votes. JFK would soon prove to be a rather weak President and his electoral prospects in 1964 seemed bleak. Kennedy would need more votes to widen any potential margin of victory, and so avoid a repeat of 1960. There was but one place to get those extra votes; amongst those racial minorities that previous democratic candidates had ignored or sought to keep down. Thus was born the union of the democratic party to the Civil Rights movement, and the genesis of the JFK/RFK mythology.

This met with much resistance within the party, and would ultimately destroy the old-line Democratic Party from within: as it spoke of equality and inclusion, fairness and freedom, it found itself obligated to include ever-more radical elements, from both racial minorities and progressive Whites, which would eventually push both the Scoop Jackson and George Wallace-type democrats out of the party. The democratic party of 2011 bears no resemblance to the democratic party of 1950 or 1900. The Civil Rights Act of 1965 had the practical effect of being the Old democratic party’s suicide note.


But this did not automatically spell change for the better.

The 1970’s saw the party transform from the party of Self-Serving-Patrician-Racism, and morph into the Party of You-Poor-Baby-Patronizing-Smiley-Face-Racism, as every conceivable complaint in American Life was spun into a ’movement’ (complete with it’s own mythology, psychiatric justification, sociological underpinnings and revisionist history) which could be directed by Progressive doofuses masquerading as crusaders ‘for the little guy’. Such a political system must, by necessity, devolve into a system in which everyone is regarded as a Victim of ________. People are no longer divided as much by political philosophy as they are by self-categorization; we now divide upon race, gender, sexual orientation, educational level, personal wealth, age, ethnicity and religion, and real political affiliation becomes ever-less important as both parties get further and further away from their stated beliefs.

Each new constituency calls out for government fixers and creates the Voting Blocs (and the money that comes with them) and which politicians will fight to the death over. This gives otherwise talentless hacks (politicians and bureaucrats) the ability to dispose of trillions of taxpayer dollars, affecting the law, people’s living standards, public attitudes, quality of life, and behaviors in the process. This process is hidden behind a confusing web of alphabet-soup agencies, commissions, Blue-Ribbon Panels, cabinet posts, Federal Departments, Sub-committees, etc., to ensure no one will ever discover the true scoundrels or their true motives.

The constituencies and issues are played one against the other, as needed. Progress, where any is made, is mostly incremental, and occurs around the margins of American Life. Racial Animosities continue to fester, but now the Progressive Racists with burnished Civil Rights and Welfare State street cred, are increasingly able to project that animosity upon their political opponents while keeping the con going.

The modern democratic party has turned this tactic into an art form, and in the process have created a system wherein people now expect to be rewarded and paid attention to for simply being alive and able to vote! It justifies and perpetuates this system by telling people what they want to hear, or better yet, what the directing brains WANT them to hear, the better to instill the fear and dependence required to continue to keep anyone from learning the truth.

Problems become intractable. No one’s life changes dramatically. No one’s circumstances are ever improved very much for the exercise. Much energy, money, and time is wasted for no visible result. This is by design, and it is to our detriment as both citizens and human beings. This is both the legacy of the Old Dixiecrats, and modus operandi of the New Progressives.

I would hazard to say that the reason why African-Americans cleave to the democratic party the way they do is because it tells them what they want to hear: that they are victims, entitled to the fruits of other people’s labor, and that this is justice. It requires nothing from them except for reflexive electoral obedience. In return it has encouraged sloth, dishonesty, ignorance, bastardy and crime, and created state-run ghettos-cum-concentration-camps, and calls it compassion. It has destroyed the educational system by pandering to unions and influencing curriculum away from traditional core subjects, ensuring generations of functional illiterates that can be more easily manipulated and frightened. The democratic party defends this sorry and disgusting state of affairs by claiming it's ideological enemies are racist, reactionary, closet-Klansman douchebags who want to see African-Americans hanging from trees, or starving in the streets.


It's no wonder the democratic party should claim to be the defender of the poor and downtrodden: it does such a good job of creating them, and then keeping them that way, after all.
The Modern Democrat does these things because he needs to exert control over people’s lives in the same way their Confederate forebears did, and for much the same reasons; the only difference now is that the New Confederates wear smiley faces, spout boilerplate socialist bullshit, and profess to ‘understand’ everyone and everything. African-Americans were just an easy target of opportunity for these New Democrats; welcome to your New and Improved Plantation.

A common lament I often hear from my Black Friends is that despite what some would agree is visible progress in terms of equality in America, there’s some things which they believe have never changed. Part of this is undoubtedly true – the democratic party requires a near-constant sense of discontent simply to survive, after all – but what truly amazes me is how there seems to be so little ambition (amongst those complaining loudest!) to make an effort to change their own circumstances.

It’s always someone else’s responsibility to ‘pay for…’ something, or to ‘level the playing field’ on their behalf, or ‘give us justice’. which often has little to do with Law and Order. They‘re expecting someone else to do the job for them (and why shouldn’t they? It’s how they’ve been trained by a Patronizing Democratic Party; responsibility is always someone else’s job) and they’re putting their hopes, more often than not, into the same democratic politicians who created this very mess by cynically telling them only what they wished to hear: you’re owed, you’re a victim, it’s not you’re fault, and you shouldn’t have to do A, B or C to get it. Vote for me and just wait for the checks to roll in, don't vote for me and Watch the Bad Guys take it away.

There's Another Way of Doing Things -- the way illustrated by people like Herman Cain, Clarence Thomas, Condoleezza Rice, Colin Powell, or Walter Williams, that is, the route of personal responsibility and success through achievement -- but somehow this becomes unacceptable. I’ve heard this proven program of personal success ridiculed as ‘Acting White’, and derided as ‘Not Authentically Black’, that it’s ‘Culturally insensitive’ and always in ways which are patronizingly disgusting. That this system works doesn’t appear to matter; a concept of personal success divorced from government hand-out or action, sans racial acrimony, or without an element of class or racial envy, becomes a literal impossibility.

Nathan Bedford Forrest would be proud. What he hoped to achieve back in the day has been achieved without the need for Midnight Terrorism in a Bed Sheet and Bad Public Relations. The amazing thing about this state of affairs is that not only will people be extraordinarily unaware of what they’ve done to themselves, but display the most incredible, and reflexive, loyalty to their oppressors in the process. It's almost as if they're saying "Thank you for fucking up my Life...may I please have some more?"

Throughout this essay I have generalized greatly. I know this, but it was necessary for illustrative purposes. However, one has to only look at the results of the last 40 years of so-called Liberal Progressivist policy -- compare it to the things the Confederates said and did about African-Americans 160 years ago -- and you'd discover that much hasn't really changed. Then honestly consider the results of modern democratic party policy, and you'll probably arrive at the same conclusion that I have: either it’s all just been run by successive generations of complete idiots, or this is all going exactly to plan.

I’m going to say something that's even more unpopular but it’s a future possibility that must be considered. This country is broke. It’s so broke that even if we sold everything of value in all 50 states and then prostituted our daughters to the Red Chinese, we still couldn’t cover our debts. This state of affairs was brought about by poor government policies and a lack of oversight and discipline. We The People are extremely anxious about the future. The rise of the Tea Party is a direct consequence of this anxiety, and it has brought with it a new belief that the established parties no longer serve the will of the governed and therefore must be reformed or replaced. Great social and political change is coming in the very near future. Common conventions about the purpose, power, and activities of the American Government which existed before are all about to change radically.

Government funding for a variety of social programs is going to disappear as funding for the entire apparatus of the Welfare State ceases. The edifice of Affirmative Action will be pulled down. The Double-Standards that have been erected by liberals around matters of race will be erased. We can no longer afford to keep them, and the people who have paid for them up until now wish to be relieved of this unfair financial burden. This is not conjecture; it is going to happen. History says it will. The America that emerges from this process will look quite different than what stands now. Now there's real money at stake.

The democratic party will need to change if it is to survive, and it will probably do so by ejecting its radicals and purging itself of all the old divide-and-conquer political rhetoric of the past. It will jettison its romantic attachment to the Entitlement State. The generation that remembers FDR and the Great Depression will soon be gone (and exiting much faster under Obama Care, I reckon).The democratic party will be moving to the right, and taking a far-more Centrist view of Civil Rights, and become more conservative by necessity. It will begin to resemble the Party of Reagan more than the Party of JFK with each passing day. With the continued funding of the Welfare State at current levels an impossibility, the rationales to keep it, even in much-reduced form, become logically and ethically indefensible; it will all be gone within a decade, maybe 15 years, at most.

Those who wish to remain with the Party of Patronizing You-Poor-Baby-ism, the illogical attitudes, the unrealistic expectations, the backhanded racism disguised as Social Justice, and the deliberately-fucked-up policies designed to keep people fat-dumb-and-happy-but-on-a-leash -nontheless which it represents, are bound to find themselves in extremely dire straits in the very near future.

It's perhaps time for some re-evaluation of old allegiences and re-think some deeply-held positions which have been rendered null and void by deep economic crisis.